Southern Comments

Southern Comments
Exclamations:
– “Well knock me down and steal muh teeth!”
– “Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit.”

Threats:
– “I’ll slap you so hard, your clothes will be outta style.”
– “This’ll jar your preserves.”
– “Don’t you be makin’ me open a can o’ whoop-ass on ya!”

Good Things/Compliments:
– “Cute as a sack full of puppies.”
– “If things get any better, I may have to hire someone to help me enjoy it.”
– “Gooder than grits.”

The Weather:
– “It’s so dry, the trees are bribing the dogs.”
– “It’s been hotter’n a goat’s butt in a pepper patch.”
– Wintry roads are said to be “slicker than otter snot.”

Descriptions:
– A bothersome person is “like a booger that you can’t thump off.”
– When something is bad then you say, “that ain’t no count.”
– If something is hard to do, it’s “like trying to herd cats.”
– “He ran like his feet was on fire and his ass was catchin.”
– A hectic schedule keeps you “Busier than a cat covering crap on a marble floor.”

Insults:
– “She’s uglier than homemade soap.”
– “Your momma’s so fat, when she stepped up on the scale to be weighed, it said ‘To be continued.'”
– “He fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.”
– “Uglier than a lard bucket full of armpits.”
– “The wheels still turning, but the hamsters dead”
– Any insulting statement is always followed by “bless his/her heart.” Example: “She’s dumber than a door knob, bless her heart.”